For the past 8 months, I’ve been sharing weekly essays about video games. I started this blog anonymously because I wanted to experiment with a different voice. Writing without my name attached meant less fear of failure, which gave me permission to try things - different styles, higher cadence, vulnerable topics, deeply uncomfortable honesty. It’s how I ended up sharing things I never expected to put online, like my grief journey after losing my son.

Over these months, I’ve realized how much I love this. Putting thoughts on paper. Hitting publish. Knowing that some folks actually read these words. And I’ve come to believe that who I am matters to the writing - authorial intent or not, these essays are a distillation of my experiences. I wanted you to know me. So I’m attaching my name to it.

Author's avatar waving hello next to a mountain. Hi, I’m Rooslawn - which is a phonetic spelling of my name. It’s nice to meet you.

I grew up in a post-Soviet state and moved to the United States when I was 18. I’m in my mid-30s now, living in sunny San Diego with a wife and daughter I love deeply (though you’ve probably gathered that from my constant complaining about having no time because of my infant). I adore video games. By day, I’m a software engineer - a career born from a lifelong obsession with computers. If that side of me interests you, I write about tech and career stuff on my personal site.

I’ve always hated magical maps with built-in GPS in games. They often take away the thrill of exploration, and the ability of the protaginst to instantly know where they are rarely makes sense in-universe. For me, becoming familiar with the landscapes and learning to navigate digital worlds is an engaging part of gameplay, and I appreciate when games challenge you to truly engage with their environments.

I love how cosmic dread makes you feel insignificant and how science fantasy makes you feel ignorant. I deeply enjoy and chase the feeling of getting to cozy cabins in harsh survival games (and hoarding provisions within them). I like when games don’t hold you by the hand and treat you like an adult. I enjoy optimization problems.

Moving forward, I’ll keep writing weekly through the first year of this blog. After that, I’ll reevaluate. Sustainability is an open question.

See you in the essays - I have a pretty exciting December lined up. If you’ve enjoyed my writing, I’d love to have you stick around. You can subscribe to my newsletter or find me on BlueSky as I’m trying to figure out social media.